Post-Deaf Experience: The Rest is Noise
So, as you could probably see, this post was not made last night - due to some serious issues with my internet. But alas, the issues have been resolved and you now have this post to read.
My Week of Deafness was certainly eye-opening, but so was the first day back in the hearing world. The first thing I noticed was that the world is one noisy place! I took the ear plugs out, and was overwhelmed with all kinds of sounds all around me. There was the sound of my fan running, the birds chirping, traffic, pots and pans clattering, and my six-year-old neighbor requesting breakfast in bed. What was strange was that, normally I would have drowned out all these sounds. However, it took me about half a day to readjust and get used to doing that. Even now, I am very aware that the air conditioning unit in the library I'm posting this from is running just off to my left, and that someone just got off the elevator several floors above me. It's almost distracting how noisy the world is.
However, I will admit that I was quite relieved to rejoin a world in which I could easily and freely communicate with most people. That's the one thing that I learned in all of this: it's not the deafness that's a "disabling." Deafness, as one of my friends pointed out upon discussing this with him, means you're differently abled. For instance, no - I couldn't hear. But I picked up skills that I only would have picked up in such a situation; I learned to develop very quick/efficient means of communication when absolutely necessary; I learned to problem solve in ways that I never could before; I learned to connect with people on a much more emotional/human level rather than on a flat verbal level. For example, on the bus during this week I accidentally bumped into a woman who was also standing on the crowded bus. Rather than responding to her oral response of "ow" or "watch it you moron!" I realized, uh-oh, that probably hurt, and responded accordingly with "sorry!"
I think that the "problem" is not deafness. The problem is the fact that people aren't willing to open their minds enough to find a way to work with this particular demographic of the population. For all intent and purpose, you'd be "deaf," too if you went to a small town in a third world country where they didn't speak your language. You would have the exact same problems I did: you wouldn't be able to communicate without getting a little creative. And, quite honestly, put in that situation you would actually probably come up with your own form of sign language to communicate.
I think what I took away from this experience more than anything is that people just need to stop thinking of differences as "disabling" or "negative." Physical, cultural, ethnic differences are what makes our culture so rich. Each different group and person brings with them a different history, a different story, different struggles and different triumphs. If we weld all these together we'll get something truly beautiful - something that will make each and every one of us better for having done it. But right now our culture is resisting this. We're resisting allowing those from "the outside" those "Others" from entering our world - and it's not just the "heteronormative white Christian" majority. It's everyone! We're all incredibly wrapped up in our own cultures and pasts - so much so that we tend to forget that how much we can learn from these Others. What I took away from this Deaf for a Week experience is that it was a different culture and a different life. But that's all. It wasn't disabling. It was just different, and I invite anyone to deny that differences are a great thing in our society.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Days 6 and 7: More of the Same
For those of you following this blog, as I hope many of you are, I apologize for the lack of activity for the past 36 hours or so. There are several reasons for this, but mostly it comes down to a lack of new material about which to post. And therein lies the interesting realization at which I am going to write.
Being Deaf has become normal to me. I never thought I would get to this point. And I most certainly did not expect to get to this point at any time during this week. But I have pretty much learned in the course of five short days, to exist in a society in which I am unable to use traditional means of communication. I no longer get flustered when people try to ask me questions that I can't hear - I have become quite accustomed to calmly signing, "Sorry, I'm Deaf." I no longer have to wonder how I'm going to order food or coffee - I simply write it down and hand the cashier or waitress a means of payment. If they don't understand, I supplement this not-so-subtle hint by signing something to them along the lines of the aforementioned "Sorry, I'm Deaf."
As I get ready to head home shortly on my last day of Deafness, I am finding myself anticipating tomorrow morning when I will re-enter the hearing world. I find myself now wondering things like; what kind of subtle sounds am I going to notice for the first time? Is the world going to seem oppressively loud now? How much easier is being in the hearing world going to be now that I've been Deaf within it for a week? Will I have a changed outlook on the rest of the world now?
I can't wait to find out what the answers to these questions are! I certainly plan to keep you posted, so make sure to check tomorrow evening for the answers to all those questions (and more)!
For those of you following this blog, as I hope many of you are, I apologize for the lack of activity for the past 36 hours or so. There are several reasons for this, but mostly it comes down to a lack of new material about which to post. And therein lies the interesting realization at which I am going to write.
Being Deaf has become normal to me. I never thought I would get to this point. And I most certainly did not expect to get to this point at any time during this week. But I have pretty much learned in the course of five short days, to exist in a society in which I am unable to use traditional means of communication. I no longer get flustered when people try to ask me questions that I can't hear - I have become quite accustomed to calmly signing, "Sorry, I'm Deaf." I no longer have to wonder how I'm going to order food or coffee - I simply write it down and hand the cashier or waitress a means of payment. If they don't understand, I supplement this not-so-subtle hint by signing something to them along the lines of the aforementioned "Sorry, I'm Deaf."
As I get ready to head home shortly on my last day of Deafness, I am finding myself anticipating tomorrow morning when I will re-enter the hearing world. I find myself now wondering things like; what kind of subtle sounds am I going to notice for the first time? Is the world going to seem oppressively loud now? How much easier is being in the hearing world going to be now that I've been Deaf within it for a week? Will I have a changed outlook on the rest of the world now?
I can't wait to find out what the answers to these questions are! I certainly plan to keep you posted, so make sure to check tomorrow evening for the answers to all those questions (and more)!
Monday, June 25, 2012
Day 5 - Part 2: Distracting People since 2010
This evening I decided to get together with another signing friend of mine, Dominyck. We met up in center city, and headed to grab a milkshake from HipCityVeg. After our plan to sit in Rittenhouse and chat was destroyed by a very inconveniently timed passing shower, we went into Barnes and Nobel to catch up. Because this is one of the few times that I've really been able to openly communicate with another person face to face, we started signing right away. As we walked to the shop, I realized that we were passing by an outdoor cafe, and that literally every single person we walked by, stopped what they were doing for just a few seconds to look up and watch us signing. I thought about it, and I realized that while for me, after having been Deaf for a full work-week now, it was very normal for us to be conversing in ASL, that for the majority non-signing hearing population, seeing two people walking down the street signing would be very intriguing. Based on the reactions we got, anyway, that seems to be the case.
After I noticed the people at the cafe, I couldn't help but to notice every where we went people, even as they continued their activity (eating, playing with their dog, drinking coffee, etc) and their conversations, tended to look over and watch us. It was a little un-nerving at first, but then I just decided to ignore it, and enjoy chatting with Dom. We chatted for probably an hour or so, and it was a very nice time. It was just really interesting how everyone watched us have our conversation, most - if not all - having no idea what we were talking about. I have to wonder: is this the same for every foreign language, or just ASL? And, furthermore, do I also unintentionally do this to other people signing? It was an interesting experience, and one that I'm on the fence about whether it was good or bad.
Day 5 - Part 1: Answers to some FAQs
Throughout this experience, I've had people ask me a lot of questions about how it's going and what I'm discovering. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions and my answers to them:
Q: How well do the earplugs work?
A: VERY well. I have two pairs layers on top of each other (foam followed by wax) in a way that reduces the diminishing marginal returns (in other words - they both work as well as they possibly could in combination with one another). Combined, they block a total of over 65 decibels of sound. (The equivalent of standing about a block away from a jack hammer in a construction zone, as I've discovered walking to work.)
Q: Is it harder to interact with people who you know already, or with random strangers?
A: I find it's actually much easier to interact with random strangers, because my friends and acquaintances who already know me are aware that this is temporary and that this is, in fact, the exception to my every-day life. Random strangers - cashiers, waitresses, people on the street, etc - are much more willing to try and help in whatever way they can. (Emphasis on "try" - sometimes their efforts are more futile and interfering than helpful.)
Q: How do you communicate with other people?
A: That depends who these other people are. If they sign, then I use ASL. If they don't and we're in a social setting, I use any means of writing/typing I can - texting, pen and paper, etc. If we've not got this available to us, I generally try to use gestures I think will be easy to read. Charades is a great game, after all! Also, I am finding it very helpful that I am able to read lips - this is by far one of the easiest ways for me to understand people.
Q: What's the hardest thing about being deaf?
A: I think that the hardest thing about being deaf is that it's not something other people can see, so it often takes a while for them to catch on that you can't hear them. It tends to cause a lot of confusion, and even some accidental insult - I'm quite certain that there were definitely people who thought I wasn't answering them because I was just a bitch.
Q: What's the most surprising?
A: The most surprising thing I'm finding in this experience is just how readily I adapted to this new lifestyle. I definitely expected the whole week to be much more of a struggle than it has been. I honestly expected this to result in me sitting in my room alone for the entire week, rather than going out and living my life as I normally do amongst the hearing populace. While the way I interact with people has shifted a little, I'm still able to interact with them as needed.
If you have any more questions, please let me know - I'd love to answer them! :)
Throughout this experience, I've had people ask me a lot of questions about how it's going and what I'm discovering. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions and my answers to them:
Q: How well do the earplugs work?
A: VERY well. I have two pairs layers on top of each other (foam followed by wax) in a way that reduces the diminishing marginal returns (in other words - they both work as well as they possibly could in combination with one another). Combined, they block a total of over 65 decibels of sound. (The equivalent of standing about a block away from a jack hammer in a construction zone, as I've discovered walking to work.)
Q: Is it harder to interact with people who you know already, or with random strangers?
A: I find it's actually much easier to interact with random strangers, because my friends and acquaintances who already know me are aware that this is temporary and that this is, in fact, the exception to my every-day life. Random strangers - cashiers, waitresses, people on the street, etc - are much more willing to try and help in whatever way they can. (Emphasis on "try" - sometimes their efforts are more futile and interfering than helpful.)
Q: How do you communicate with other people?
A: That depends who these other people are. If they sign, then I use ASL. If they don't and we're in a social setting, I use any means of writing/typing I can - texting, pen and paper, etc. If we've not got this available to us, I generally try to use gestures I think will be easy to read. Charades is a great game, after all! Also, I am finding it very helpful that I am able to read lips - this is by far one of the easiest ways for me to understand people.
Q: What's the hardest thing about being deaf?
A: I think that the hardest thing about being deaf is that it's not something other people can see, so it often takes a while for them to catch on that you can't hear them. It tends to cause a lot of confusion, and even some accidental insult - I'm quite certain that there were definitely people who thought I wasn't answering them because I was just a bitch.
Q: What's the most surprising?
A: The most surprising thing I'm finding in this experience is just how readily I adapted to this new lifestyle. I definitely expected the whole week to be much more of a struggle than it has been. I honestly expected this to result in me sitting in my room alone for the entire week, rather than going out and living my life as I normally do amongst the hearing populace. While the way I interact with people has shifted a little, I'm still able to interact with them as needed.
If you have any more questions, please let me know - I'd love to answer them! :)
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Day 4 - Part 2: Being deaf outside Deaf Community
Okay, crash-course on Deaf Culture:
1) When talking about deafness vs. Deafness there is a big difference. With a lower-case "d," the word is referring to the physical condition of not being able to hear. With an upper-case "D," the word is referring to the cultural condition of being a part of the Deaf community.
2) Culturally Deaf individuals are incredibly tight-knit and incredibly proud of their culture.
3) Referring to someone within part of the Deaf Community as disadvantaged because they're not part of the majority Hearing population is quite possibly going to offend them.
4) Just as with any culture, Deaf individuals tend to come together as a Deaf Community that unifies under a shared history, language, and other cultural circumstances that go along with these.
5) Being surprised that such a thing as Deaf Culture exists is natural at first. But saying that "it would be better if Deaf people were mainstreamed and integrated with the rest of the 'normal' people" or anything of the sort will make people mad at you very quickly - myself included. I've come to realize, through my ASL/Deaf Culture studies as well as this experience, that telling a Deaf person they shouldn't have a different culture is just like telling a Hispanic US citizen that they should "speak English - they're in America." It's rude, it's discrimination, and it's an outlandish thing to do/say.
So, now that we've got that out of the way, on to my topic. Lately I've been feeling very cut-off and isolated from the world. I cannot speak with most of my friends. I can't hear the music that I have become so accustomed to listening to. Even trying to watch television or movies has become an entirely different experience, and one that tends to not allow for much actual "human emotional connection" in the way that you would expect from the characters and writers. I was, for a while, thinking in the mind-set of "well, this sucks!" And, I even admit, that I was for a while beginning to wonder why Deaf people are so proud and so content with their deafness.
But then I did something that caused the metaphorical light-bulb to switch on. I watched a SignMARK music video. For those not familiar with him, SignMARK is a Deaf hip-hop artist, who writes and performs songs in ASL, which are then translated for signing-impaired individuals into either spoken language(s). As I was watching his video, I was overcome with a sense of relief of finally being able to make the connection on that immediate, untranslated level with him. I understood where his performance came from, and I didn't need an interpreter to tell me what he was saying, because he was speaking directly to me. And then it dawned on me that within this project, there is a gaping hole - a hole where a Deaf Community, a network of people who have these shared experiences and language with me, should be.
I realized, if I were to actually go deaf permanently, I'd probably make a huge effort to go into the Deaf community and begin a social (and possibly professional) network. Also, I am sure that there are several of my friends who would make an effort to learn ASL so that we could maintain our relationships. However, because of the temporariness of the conditions surrounding this social experiment, I am now in an odd position where I'm experiencing a cultural-immersion type of atmosphere in an entirely different culture than I'm immersed in. I'm like a chicken trying to live among penguins. They both look like and kind of act like birds, but they're just not the same.
I think that if I were to restart this project, I'd definitely go about it with a very different strategy. I'd try and actually put myself completely inside the Deaf Community - temporarily move to a "new culture" and live in their world entirely instead of trying to duke it out with a culture that conflicts so heavily with the one I'm experiencing. With this in mind, though, I do think that it is good to get the "outsider" experience that Deaf individuals get anytime they venture into a situation where they need to interact with the hearing world.
Okay, crash-course on Deaf Culture:
1) When talking about deafness vs. Deafness there is a big difference. With a lower-case "d," the word is referring to the physical condition of not being able to hear. With an upper-case "D," the word is referring to the cultural condition of being a part of the Deaf community.
2) Culturally Deaf individuals are incredibly tight-knit and incredibly proud of their culture.
3) Referring to someone within part of the Deaf Community as disadvantaged because they're not part of the majority Hearing population is quite possibly going to offend them.
4) Just as with any culture, Deaf individuals tend to come together as a Deaf Community that unifies under a shared history, language, and other cultural circumstances that go along with these.
5) Being surprised that such a thing as Deaf Culture exists is natural at first. But saying that "it would be better if Deaf people were mainstreamed and integrated with the rest of the 'normal' people" or anything of the sort will make people mad at you very quickly - myself included. I've come to realize, through my ASL/Deaf Culture studies as well as this experience, that telling a Deaf person they shouldn't have a different culture is just like telling a Hispanic US citizen that they should "speak English - they're in America." It's rude, it's discrimination, and it's an outlandish thing to do/say.
So, now that we've got that out of the way, on to my topic. Lately I've been feeling very cut-off and isolated from the world. I cannot speak with most of my friends. I can't hear the music that I have become so accustomed to listening to. Even trying to watch television or movies has become an entirely different experience, and one that tends to not allow for much actual "human emotional connection" in the way that you would expect from the characters and writers. I was, for a while, thinking in the mind-set of "well, this sucks!" And, I even admit, that I was for a while beginning to wonder why Deaf people are so proud and so content with their deafness.
But then I did something that caused the metaphorical light-bulb to switch on. I watched a SignMARK music video. For those not familiar with him, SignMARK is a Deaf hip-hop artist, who writes and performs songs in ASL, which are then translated for signing-impaired individuals into either spoken language(s). As I was watching his video, I was overcome with a sense of relief of finally being able to make the connection on that immediate, untranslated level with him. I understood where his performance came from, and I didn't need an interpreter to tell me what he was saying, because he was speaking directly to me. And then it dawned on me that within this project, there is a gaping hole - a hole where a Deaf Community, a network of people who have these shared experiences and language with me, should be.
I realized, if I were to actually go deaf permanently, I'd probably make a huge effort to go into the Deaf community and begin a social (and possibly professional) network. Also, I am sure that there are several of my friends who would make an effort to learn ASL so that we could maintain our relationships. However, because of the temporariness of the conditions surrounding this social experiment, I am now in an odd position where I'm experiencing a cultural-immersion type of atmosphere in an entirely different culture than I'm immersed in. I'm like a chicken trying to live among penguins. They both look like and kind of act like birds, but they're just not the same.
I think that if I were to restart this project, I'd definitely go about it with a very different strategy. I'd try and actually put myself completely inside the Deaf Community - temporarily move to a "new culture" and live in their world entirely instead of trying to duke it out with a culture that conflicts so heavily with the one I'm experiencing. With this in mind, though, I do think that it is good to get the "outsider" experience that Deaf individuals get anytime they venture into a situation where they need to interact with the hearing world.
Day 4 - Part 1: #captionTHIS
So, if you're following this blog closely, as I hope that at least some of you are, you'll notice that yesterday I did not post nearly as often as I wanted to. To make up for this, as I write my posts today I'm going to try to cover topics from both yesterday as well as new experiences.
One thing that I ended up doing yesterday was hanging out with my friend Lauren. Both being big fans of nerdy British sci-fi, we decided to watch some Torchwood and Doctor Who on Netflix. This, we decided, was something we could both do and enjoy, because it didn't require actual communication between the two of us. "Besides," I thought, "I can just put on the captions so that I can watch without needing sound." This worked for an episode of Torchwood. However, we discovered that for one of the seasons of Doctor Who, that there were no captions available. We decided to watch anyway. I did my best to read the lips of the characters as they spoke. This would have worked had they kept the camera on the person speaking at all times. However, because of modern/popular filmography and artistic choices, this is actually rarely the case. Between the shots of other peoples' reactions to other characters talking, the distance shots, the many important plot-developing sound effects, and the many other random cut-aways, it was nearly impossible for me to follow the plot of the episode.
This also reminded me, though, of a video I came across a few weeks ago promoting a movement called #captionTHIS in which a group of people was trying to get people to spread the word about the lack of closed captioning on popular media sources. I'll post the link to the video below. I urge all of you to watch it - especially if you don't know anyone in the Deaf community, have never had a language barrier problem, etc. I will give you a fair warning, there will be a point for a few seconds during which you will probably be very frustrated with the video if you are not asl-literate. Although the #captionTHIS movement was mass-spread on June 6th, 2012, I think that it is definitely something that we should all try to keep going. While I supported the movement before, and thought I understood why it was so important, I now empathize with the movers and shakers that started it on a whole different level.
Here's the link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgSrZ-s3MTY
Enjoy!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Day 3 - Part 1: Learning to Love My New Life
On Day 1, I posted in the evening about the struggle that I had in trying to go out with my friend Elisa for coffee. Last night, however, I went out with her to TapHouse for a drink. This experience was for some reason, much better than the last one.
For starters, watching the drunk people, but being unable to hear them or any of the music they were "dancing" to, was perhaps the most entertaining thing in the world. I highly recommend that anyone in need of a good laugh take a high quality pair of earplugs with them the next time they go out to a bar or club.
However, I think that Elisa and I both also started to be able to understand each others' mode of communication a little better. I can't speak for her, but I know that I actually found it much easier to read her lips last night than I did on Day 1. Now, I suppose this could have been because the nature of a busy bar versus a quiet coffee shop allows for louder, more prominent enunciation when speaking out loud. However, it may also be that I'm just getting used to her particular enunciating/"accent" when she mouths words.
I, too, began to combine mouthing English with signing - a no-no when talking to any other fellow-signer, but acceptable when interacting with the hearing world. There were times that she seemed to understand my signing much better than the night before - perhaps because she's seen some of the same signs over and over again, or perhaps because I was over-exaggeratedly mouthing them, or perhaps a combination of each.
In general, I'm becoming quite comfortable with my new Deaf status. I'm learning little things like, instead of verbally saying "good morning" to people on the street, I can just smile and wave hello. The same message comes across. I am learning that bus rides are actually much shorter than I thought they were, and that clerks/cashiers tend to be very helpful. I used to dread the thought of going completely deaf, but now I accept that I will be able to embrace this if it happens.
On Day 1, I posted in the evening about the struggle that I had in trying to go out with my friend Elisa for coffee. Last night, however, I went out with her to TapHouse for a drink. This experience was for some reason, much better than the last one.
For starters, watching the drunk people, but being unable to hear them or any of the music they were "dancing" to, was perhaps the most entertaining thing in the world. I highly recommend that anyone in need of a good laugh take a high quality pair of earplugs with them the next time they go out to a bar or club.
However, I think that Elisa and I both also started to be able to understand each others' mode of communication a little better. I can't speak for her, but I know that I actually found it much easier to read her lips last night than I did on Day 1. Now, I suppose this could have been because the nature of a busy bar versus a quiet coffee shop allows for louder, more prominent enunciation when speaking out loud. However, it may also be that I'm just getting used to her particular enunciating/"accent" when she mouths words.
I, too, began to combine mouthing English with signing - a no-no when talking to any other fellow-signer, but acceptable when interacting with the hearing world. There were times that she seemed to understand my signing much better than the night before - perhaps because she's seen some of the same signs over and over again, or perhaps because I was over-exaggeratedly mouthing them, or perhaps a combination of each.
In general, I'm becoming quite comfortable with my new Deaf status. I'm learning little things like, instead of verbally saying "good morning" to people on the street, I can just smile and wave hello. The same message comes across. I am learning that bus rides are actually much shorter than I thought they were, and that clerks/cashiers tend to be very helpful. I used to dread the thought of going completely deaf, but now I accept that I will be able to embrace this if it happens.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Day 2 - Part 4: "When Did It Rain?"
Discovery of the day: Deaf people can't hear thunderstorms. I honestly have no idea why this is so surprising to me. I left the library at about 8:00, only to discover that campus was flooded. Judging by the many Facebook posts of people from the Philly area and the texts I received in the past 30 minutes, there was quite a storm going on while I was engrossed in my stack of books about Plautine comedy and Roman gender-sociological standards. While I was surrounded by silence in the library [for all my fellow Doctor Who fans: Don't worry, I counted the shadows], a storm that must have been somewhat similar to my own personal imaginings of the apocalypse was happening on the other side of the wall. Not an everyday thing that I thought would come to my attention. But alas, this experience never stops surprising me.
Discovery of the day: Deaf people can't hear thunderstorms. I honestly have no idea why this is so surprising to me. I left the library at about 8:00, only to discover that campus was flooded. Judging by the many Facebook posts of people from the Philly area and the texts I received in the past 30 minutes, there was quite a storm going on while I was engrossed in my stack of books about Plautine comedy and Roman gender-sociological standards. While I was surrounded by silence in the library [for all my fellow Doctor Who fans: Don't worry, I counted the shadows], a storm that must have been somewhat similar to my own personal imaginings of the apocalypse was happening on the other side of the wall. Not an everyday thing that I thought would come to my attention. But alas, this experience never stops surprising me.
Day 2 - Part 3: Secret Signers
I realized that I never actually explained how it is that I have temporarily (and quite effectively) deafened myself. I ordered high-quality foam earplugs online (that get rid of up to 45 decibels of sound), and bought much less high-quality wax-earplugs (the kind that you would use to keep water out of your ears) that block 22 decibels of sound. After putting the foam earplugs in, I then capped them off with the wax earplugs, smoothing the wax out so that it both masks the fact that I am wearing foam earplugs, and holds them in place. The two combined actually do block out pretty much all sound. The exception is incredibly loud things, such as the jackhammer at the construction sight that I walked past this morning. Even these loud sounds are hard to hear, and are often difficult for me to identify.
I find that I am finally really getting used to not being able to hear people or traffic, or really anything at all. I have learned to look for visual signals on things that I would have relied on sound for in the past. For instance, on my bus ride today, I watched for the light of the "Stop Requested" sign to light up rather than expecting to hear the binging sound every time someone pulled the cord to get off. I also have learned to look not only left and right when crossing the street, but also behind me for cars that may be approaching and planning to turn. (I learned to do this after nearly getting hit by cars trying to do this.... twice..... Apparently it's something that I never really noticed before, because I would only look if I heard a car behind me.)
And now on to the title of this post - "secret signers." Today my trip to center city resulted in my visiting one of my favorite stores, Buffalo Exchange. (It is pay day, after all!) I went in and was waiting for the dressing room. I was going to try on some clothes in the dressing room. While I was waiting for a changing stall to open up, someone bumped into me. I turned as common social etiquette demands, to do the typical mutual apology thing with the mystery klutz. I signed "sorry" they gestured something like "no, i'm sorry, it's fine" or some variation thereof, and we moved on. However, the man at the changing stall must have seen this happen, because much to my delight and shock, instead of speaking to me, he turned and signed "How many?" when it was my turn to enter the changing rooms. I signed the number 7 (in ASL, not in Toddler-language), and he then signed to me, "Let me know if you need anything." This Secret Signer, as you can imagine, made my day!
It occurred to me yesterday that one of the reasons being Deaf in a hearing society is so hard, is that you can't see it like you can other physical differences such as an inability to walk, or blindness. There is virtually no noticeable physical difference between a Deaf and hearing person walking down a street. But today I realized that neither can you see the ability to sign. It's just something that society expects people not to be able to do, unless maybe they or a loved one is Deaf. It was a very humbling experience in which I realized that I may need to re-think how I go about thinking of people in general - particularly strangers I meet for the first time.
I realized that I never actually explained how it is that I have temporarily (and quite effectively) deafened myself. I ordered high-quality foam earplugs online (that get rid of up to 45 decibels of sound), and bought much less high-quality wax-earplugs (the kind that you would use to keep water out of your ears) that block 22 decibels of sound. After putting the foam earplugs in, I then capped them off with the wax earplugs, smoothing the wax out so that it both masks the fact that I am wearing foam earplugs, and holds them in place. The two combined actually do block out pretty much all sound. The exception is incredibly loud things, such as the jackhammer at the construction sight that I walked past this morning. Even these loud sounds are hard to hear, and are often difficult for me to identify.
I find that I am finally really getting used to not being able to hear people or traffic, or really anything at all. I have learned to look for visual signals on things that I would have relied on sound for in the past. For instance, on my bus ride today, I watched for the light of the "Stop Requested" sign to light up rather than expecting to hear the binging sound every time someone pulled the cord to get off. I also have learned to look not only left and right when crossing the street, but also behind me for cars that may be approaching and planning to turn. (I learned to do this after nearly getting hit by cars trying to do this.... twice..... Apparently it's something that I never really noticed before, because I would only look if I heard a car behind me.)
And now on to the title of this post - "secret signers." Today my trip to center city resulted in my visiting one of my favorite stores, Buffalo Exchange. (It is pay day, after all!) I went in and was waiting for the dressing room. I was going to try on some clothes in the dressing room. While I was waiting for a changing stall to open up, someone bumped into me. I turned as common social etiquette demands, to do the typical mutual apology thing with the mystery klutz. I signed "sorry" they gestured something like "no, i'm sorry, it's fine" or some variation thereof, and we moved on. However, the man at the changing stall must have seen this happen, because much to my delight and shock, instead of speaking to me, he turned and signed "How many?" when it was my turn to enter the changing rooms. I signed the number 7 (in ASL, not in Toddler-language), and he then signed to me, "Let me know if you need anything." This Secret Signer, as you can imagine, made my day!
It occurred to me yesterday that one of the reasons being Deaf in a hearing society is so hard, is that you can't see it like you can other physical differences such as an inability to walk, or blindness. There is virtually no noticeable physical difference between a Deaf and hearing person walking down a street. But today I realized that neither can you see the ability to sign. It's just something that society expects people not to be able to do, unless maybe they or a loved one is Deaf. It was a very humbling experience in which I realized that I may need to re-think how I go about thinking of people in general - particularly strangers I meet for the first time.
Day 2 - Part 2: Sign-Literate Friend Time
Today I had lunch with my friend Britney, who has a relatively decent working knowledge of ASL after having taken ASL 1 at Penn. She and I had lunch and chatted for 30 minutes, and for me that was definitely too short a time! I can now truly appreciate the magnitude of relief anyone in a language barrier situation experiences when they find someone else with whom they are able to (more) easily communicate. While Britney has only a basic understanding and a somewhat limited vocabulary in ASL, it was the first time since I've started this experience where communication with another person face to face was actually easy. I'm certainly now able to empathize with people in any language barrier situation much more readily than when I first started this project, as well as able to understand why it is so elating that meeting people who speak the language you.
Today I had lunch with my friend Britney, who has a relatively decent working knowledge of ASL after having taken ASL 1 at Penn. She and I had lunch and chatted for 30 minutes, and for me that was definitely too short a time! I can now truly appreciate the magnitude of relief anyone in a language barrier situation experiences when they find someone else with whom they are able to (more) easily communicate. While Britney has only a basic understanding and a somewhat limited vocabulary in ASL, it was the first time since I've started this experience where communication with another person face to face was actually easy. I'm certainly now able to empathize with people in any language barrier situation much more readily than when I first started this project, as well as able to understand why it is so elating that meeting people who speak the language you.
Day 2 - Part 1: Waking Up to Silence
Waking up this morning was a little bit distressing for two reasons. The first reason was that I woke up at 7:30 am, with absolutely no need or reason for doing so. The second reason, however, was that I woke up and heard.... Nothing. I didn't wake up to an alarm. I didn't wake up to birds. I didn't even wake up to my roommate cooking breakfast or doing dishes or opening a door. I just sort of woke up. And it dawned on me - one of the things that really helps me "wake up" in the sense that I become energized and ready to tackle the day, is the various sounds in my life. The birds chirping motivate me to go outside and see what they're singing about. The clatter of pots and pans from the kitchen reminds me that I, too, am a fan of eating breakfast. My alarm, of course, screams at me until I get out of bed and either patiently turn it off or throw it against a wall so it shuts the hell up. But this morning I had nothing but my own thoughts inside my otherwise quiet bedroom, telling me that I should get up and go shower. Thus starts Day 2 of my journey as a Deaf woman living in a hearing society.
Waking up this morning was a little bit distressing for two reasons. The first reason was that I woke up at 7:30 am, with absolutely no need or reason for doing so. The second reason, however, was that I woke up and heard.... Nothing. I didn't wake up to an alarm. I didn't wake up to birds. I didn't even wake up to my roommate cooking breakfast or doing dishes or opening a door. I just sort of woke up. And it dawned on me - one of the things that really helps me "wake up" in the sense that I become energized and ready to tackle the day, is the various sounds in my life. The birds chirping motivate me to go outside and see what they're singing about. The clatter of pots and pans from the kitchen reminds me that I, too, am a fan of eating breakfast. My alarm, of course, screams at me until I get out of bed and either patiently turn it off or throw it against a wall so it shuts the hell up. But this morning I had nothing but my own thoughts inside my otherwise quiet bedroom, telling me that I should get up and go shower. Thus starts Day 2 of my journey as a Deaf woman living in a hearing society.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Day 1 - Part 5: Non-signing Friend Time
One of the things that anyone who is part of the Deaf community or who has ever taken an ASL course will tell you, is that Deaf people looooovvvveee to talk to each other. Whether they know each other or not, if you put two Deaf people in the same room, they will find each other and they will talk to each other about anything and everything. I never really understood why - until now, that is.
I just had coffee with one of my best friends, Elisa. She and I went to Starbucks and grabbed our drinks, and then sat down at a table and.... realized we couldn't talk to each other. I can't hear, she can't sign, and it's a problem. I made very good use of the memo-pad I bought this morning, and we were able to communicate in that way. As you can imagine, however, this was far from efficient. We spent most of the time trying to figure out how to concisely say what we would normally just ramble about. It was, as she pointed out, a little bit frustrating. Of course, as any friends would, she took almost no time to start really enjoying the fact that I can't hear or speak. While we did have some struggles in figuring out how to communicate, though, we did overcome them to an extent - at least enough to communicate somewhat. However, I must say, I certainly look forward to spending time with people who know ASL.
One of the things that anyone who is part of the Deaf community or who has ever taken an ASL course will tell you, is that Deaf people looooovvvveee to talk to each other. Whether they know each other or not, if you put two Deaf people in the same room, they will find each other and they will talk to each other about anything and everything. I never really understood why - until now, that is.
I just had coffee with one of my best friends, Elisa. She and I went to Starbucks and grabbed our drinks, and then sat down at a table and.... realized we couldn't talk to each other. I can't hear, she can't sign, and it's a problem. I made very good use of the memo-pad I bought this morning, and we were able to communicate in that way. As you can imagine, however, this was far from efficient. We spent most of the time trying to figure out how to concisely say what we would normally just ramble about. It was, as she pointed out, a little bit frustrating. Of course, as any friends would, she took almost no time to start really enjoying the fact that I can't hear or speak. While we did have some struggles in figuring out how to communicate, though, we did overcome them to an extent - at least enough to communicate somewhat. However, I must say, I certainly look forward to spending time with people who know ASL.
Day 1 - Part 3: Buses and Burgers
I've begun to realize that suddenly becoming Deaf has a steep learning curve. While I am fluent in ASL, it is definitely proving to be problematic that most other people are not. My most recent adventure has put me in Center City. The bus ride here proved to be very uneventful, but very enlightening. It really opened my eyes to a few things. 1) I am DEFINITELY keeping the earplugs handy for bus rides after my week of silence is over - it was by far the most peaceful SEPTA experience I've had! 2) As a hearing person, I actually rely on that sense quite a bit for things that I never really noticed - such as whether or not someone else has already requested a stop at the street where I plan to get off the bus (BING!).
One challenge I anticipated ahead of time was trying to order vegan food with highly limited means of communication. I decided that until I've figured out this whole non-signing communication thing, that I'm going to stick to mostly vegan restaurants. Today I chose a personal favorite, HipCityVeg. Upon entering the small, crowded establishment, I quickly ran into a slightly awkward situation where I was struggling to communicate that I was in fact not ready to order, and that the people who came in behind me should jump ahead of me. When people are looking at you expectantly, it's a little unsettling to not be able to explain coherently or articulately what you would like them to do. One woman turned to me and asked what I can only assume was something like "Are you in line to order?" and gestured toward the cashier. I signed "Sorry," to which she mouthed very slowly "Are you waiting?" (Having been hard of hearing has its advantages - lip reading abilities FTW!) After that interaction, which others must have witnessed, things went much more smoothly.
When I got up to the cashier to place my order, I decided to try a different tactic than this morning. After the whole texting fiasco, I was not eager to repeat this. I simply grabbed one of their mini-menus and pointed to my order. Whether she picked up on my inability to hear from that decision or whether someone told her, I'm not sure - but at any rate, the woman to whom I gave my order proceeded to very calmly finish having me order, take my name, and pay through writing on a post-it. It was a MUCH smoother experience than Starbucks.
The troubles came in, however, in trying to get my food after I'd ordered. HipCityVeg, like many fast food establishments, simply calls the name out of the person who ordered the food. There are also different people taking the orders than preparing and delivering the food to the customers. Evidently my deafness was not communicated to the people preparing and delivering orders, because I was waiting for quite some time to pick up my food. I finally approached the cashier who had helped me and tried to gesture that I had been waiting for a long time to get my food. The problem was resolved quickly, and the burger was absolutely worth it! (Vegans and vegetarians, you seriously need to go to this place if you haven't already!)
I am still getting used to walking down the street and not being able to hear traffic or people talking on cell phones or sirens or car horns or anything. However, it's slowly becoming normal to me.
I've begun to realize that suddenly becoming Deaf has a steep learning curve. While I am fluent in ASL, it is definitely proving to be problematic that most other people are not. My most recent adventure has put me in Center City. The bus ride here proved to be very uneventful, but very enlightening. It really opened my eyes to a few things. 1) I am DEFINITELY keeping the earplugs handy for bus rides after my week of silence is over - it was by far the most peaceful SEPTA experience I've had! 2) As a hearing person, I actually rely on that sense quite a bit for things that I never really noticed - such as whether or not someone else has already requested a stop at the street where I plan to get off the bus (BING!).
One challenge I anticipated ahead of time was trying to order vegan food with highly limited means of communication. I decided that until I've figured out this whole non-signing communication thing, that I'm going to stick to mostly vegan restaurants. Today I chose a personal favorite, HipCityVeg. Upon entering the small, crowded establishment, I quickly ran into a slightly awkward situation where I was struggling to communicate that I was in fact not ready to order, and that the people who came in behind me should jump ahead of me. When people are looking at you expectantly, it's a little unsettling to not be able to explain coherently or articulately what you would like them to do. One woman turned to me and asked what I can only assume was something like "Are you in line to order?" and gestured toward the cashier. I signed "Sorry," to which she mouthed very slowly "Are you waiting?" (Having been hard of hearing has its advantages - lip reading abilities FTW!) After that interaction, which others must have witnessed, things went much more smoothly.
When I got up to the cashier to place my order, I decided to try a different tactic than this morning. After the whole texting fiasco, I was not eager to repeat this. I simply grabbed one of their mini-menus and pointed to my order. Whether she picked up on my inability to hear from that decision or whether someone told her, I'm not sure - but at any rate, the woman to whom I gave my order proceeded to very calmly finish having me order, take my name, and pay through writing on a post-it. It was a MUCH smoother experience than Starbucks.
The troubles came in, however, in trying to get my food after I'd ordered. HipCityVeg, like many fast food establishments, simply calls the name out of the person who ordered the food. There are also different people taking the orders than preparing and delivering the food to the customers. Evidently my deafness was not communicated to the people preparing and delivering orders, because I was waiting for quite some time to pick up my food. I finally approached the cashier who had helped me and tried to gesture that I had been waiting for a long time to get my food. The problem was resolved quickly, and the burger was absolutely worth it! (Vegans and vegetarians, you seriously need to go to this place if you haven't already!)
I am still getting used to walking down the street and not being able to hear traffic or people talking on cell phones or sirens or car horns or anything. However, it's slowly becoming normal to me.
Day 1 - Part 2: Ordering Coffee
So, anyone who knows me very well at all, knows that I am undoubtedly addicted to caffeine. I visit coffee shops on a fairly regular basis. However, because I don't really have "my place," there is not any one coffee shop around my residency that knows me or my order. Upon going into a Starbucks and realizing I couldn't just walk up to the counter to order my coffee with soy milk as I usually do, I began to get brain-stormy. I decided that the easiest way would be to simply type my order on my phone. I did this, and showed the barista, who, in turn, gave me a very strange look. When she looked up at my phone to me to try and figure out why the hell this strange chick wasn't speaking to her, I signed "Thank-you," a sign that I feel many non-signers are familiar with. After that she understood. I could see her instantly regretting what I can only assume was judgment of the weird-o who wasn't talking, and waited patiently as she tried to make amends for this. However, this resulted in her giving me probably the most amusing "deer in the headlights" look I've ever seen! After this whole fiasco, I decided that a good investment to make would be a small memo-book, which I am now carrying with a pen in my purse.
So, anyone who knows me very well at all, knows that I am undoubtedly addicted to caffeine. I visit coffee shops on a fairly regular basis. However, because I don't really have "my place," there is not any one coffee shop around my residency that knows me or my order. Upon going into a Starbucks and realizing I couldn't just walk up to the counter to order my coffee with soy milk as I usually do, I began to get brain-stormy. I decided that the easiest way would be to simply type my order on my phone. I did this, and showed the barista, who, in turn, gave me a very strange look. When she looked up at my phone to me to try and figure out why the hell this strange chick wasn't speaking to her, I signed "Thank-you," a sign that I feel many non-signers are familiar with. After that she understood. I could see her instantly regretting what I can only assume was judgment of the weird-o who wasn't talking, and waited patiently as she tried to make amends for this. However, this resulted in her giving me probably the most amusing "deer in the headlights" look I've ever seen! After this whole fiasco, I decided that a good investment to make would be a small memo-book, which I am now carrying with a pen in my purse.
Day 1 - Part 1
This morning I awoke to the sound of the birds chirping outside my window and my roommate's cat, CJ meowing at me. Nearly two hours later, I am wearing high-quality earplugs, unable to hear even the most common of sounds, such as this keyboard's keys being pressed in, the man at the information desk of the library talking to the girl standing in front of it, or the printer running just across the room from me. I walked to Van Pelt library unable to hear as well. This walk included an actually pleasantly quiet stroll past an otherwise obnoxiously loud construction site around 40th and Baltimore. Hmmm... Maybe I should invest in earplugs for future use. While I expected the actual physical change of not being able to hear to be jarring and generally difficult to get used to, it really hasn't been that odd. Perhaps that is because I've yet to be directly engaged with another person. I haven't needed to speak to anyone, and nobody (to the best of my knowledge) has tried to speak to me. Hopefully I will be able to update this with something a bit more interesting later today, but for right now, being "deaf" is pretty okay to me.
This morning I awoke to the sound of the birds chirping outside my window and my roommate's cat, CJ meowing at me. Nearly two hours later, I am wearing high-quality earplugs, unable to hear even the most common of sounds, such as this keyboard's keys being pressed in, the man at the information desk of the library talking to the girl standing in front of it, or the printer running just across the room from me. I walked to Van Pelt library unable to hear as well. This walk included an actually pleasantly quiet stroll past an otherwise obnoxiously loud construction site around 40th and Baltimore. Hmmm... Maybe I should invest in earplugs for future use. While I expected the actual physical change of not being able to hear to be jarring and generally difficult to get used to, it really hasn't been that odd. Perhaps that is because I've yet to be directly engaged with another person. I haven't needed to speak to anyone, and nobody (to the best of my knowledge) has tried to speak to me. Hopefully I will be able to update this with something a bit more interesting later today, but for right now, being "deaf" is pretty okay to me.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Greetings friends!
As part of a project/social experiment, I am going to be doing a week long Deaf experience. I will be wearing earplugs and taking a one week vow of silence. While I'm a little nervous about how this is going to go, I'm also looking forward to the eye-opening experiences I'll be having. I hope that this will enhance my understanding of Deaf culture and what it is like to be Deaf in a hearing society. I invite anyone who wishes to follow my Deaf experience, my "Week of Silence," to read all about it right here!
Cheers,
Kelby "Bee" Reed
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